This is just a scene out of my story, that I am writing.
I was just wondering, that when you read it about how you felt with the emotions.
So, could you please tell me?
Thanks that would help.
And, I am not a very good writer, I know that there is grammar mistakes and stupid errors so don’t go on and on about it. But constructive help is okay. As long as, You are a totally meany towards me.
Again, thanks.
Oh, and just a head’s up! Alicia is only five or six year’s old, while this is happening.
"Alicia!" I heard Grandma yell, I ran out of my room and saw her standing at the foot of the stairs. She looked tired and worried, I knew this probably had to deal with my mother.
"What is it Grandma?" I said smiling the best that I could and skipping towards her.
"What do you say we go for a little drive in the car, and pick up your mother?" She said and walked over towards the counter to pick up her purse.
I smiled brightly and said, "You know where she is?"
"Yes, she called me a couple of minutes ago," Grandma said in a not so pleasant tone,"And, of course, she wants us to go pick her up."
"Oh." I said, and grabbed my purple raincoat when she handed it to me.
"Can, you go up to your room and turn your bedroom light off?" She asked me once she had everything shut off on in the house and noticed that there was a light coming from bedroom door.
"Yes, of course." I said and ran up the stairs to turn it up.
Grandma and I walked outside towards the car parked in the dirt drive way. I got in the backseat, behind her and buckled my seat belt. She started the car and started driving down the long lane and towards the road. I looked out the rain, and saw lighting in the distance. The clouds were darker now, and could feel the thunder in the distance. I laughed to myself, when Grandma asked me what I was laughing at?
"Oh I don’t know, I just love storms, and it looks like this is going to be a big one." I said smiling.
Nothing much was said after that, I just kept watching the clouds rolling up ahead and the long bright green country fields as we drove. There were many wild flowers around, and I thought they were very pretty. I thought of the time I picked some for my mother, I brought them into the house and saw her sitting on the couch talking on the phone. I walked up to her smiling and held out the flowers to her, all she did was nod at me and kept on talking. So I set the flowers in her lap, I thought for sure that she would love them. After all, she had a lot of shirts that had pretty flowers on them. But she didn’t like them at all.
"Ew! Get these weeds away from me!" She yelled and threw them on the floor and ran upstairs and shut her bedroom door behind her.
I remember staring at the flowers on the floor, and wondering if it was always going to be this way. With my mother doing what ever she wanted and Grandma always cleaning up after her, once she made me cry every night.
I woke up to the sound of a car door shutting and the smell of rain. I looked up and saw my mothers red hair damp around her face and her clothes soaked. She had on a black t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans. She didn’t look very happy, I wanted her to say something to me. But she didn’t even look at me.
"So, what did you do this time Adrienne?" Grandma asked.
Mama looked at her with an awful look on her face, but then looked out the window and sighed, "Nothing Ma, I didn’t know that all was going to go on."
"Right, just like you didn’t know the last time." She said back to her and turned down a street I didn’t recognized. Where were we, anyway?
"Ma, I don’t think we should talk about it in front of her." My mother said just nodding her head back towards me, without looking and not even saying my name.
"Why not? She practically knows everything that is going on." Grandma said in a really harsh tone that I never heard her use before in my life, "And besides, why do you care? You don’t even look at her or say her name."
"I do too!" She said and turned around, put on a fake smile that she usually wore when she looked at me and said, "Hi Alicia, how is it going?" Then she looked back at Grandma, "See, I do look at her and talk to her."
"Yeah, when I make you." She said, and started driving down a highway. This wasn’t nothing really new to me, they always did fight, it was pointless to even follow. But for some reason I wanted too.
"That’s not true!" Mama yelled at her and then took a deep breathe, "I just don’t think we should talk about this now, we should wait till we get home."
"Okay then, you will get your way on this one thing, but some things are going to change around here." Grandma said.
"Oh really? Please, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m twenty one. I can do whatever I want." She said, and pulled her legs up to her chest and started to reach towards the radio, to turn it on but my grandma smacked her hand, and yelled, "We are not going to have
"Oh really? Please, you can’t tell me what to do. I’m twenty one. I can do whatever I want." She said, and pulled her legs up to her chest and started to reach towards the radio, to turn it on but my grandma smacked her hand, and yelled, "We are not going to have the radio on!"
Mama just rolled her eyes, "Whatever."
I never said anything on the way home, instead just watch the rain. I remember my friend, from preschool telling me that when it rained, that God was sad in heaven and was crying. But I didn’t believe that at the time, but anymore I wasn’t so sure. So, during the silent drive home I watched the sky cry, and wished that I could do the same.
Yes, that’s part of her character. She’s suppost to be a total bitch.
this story is really good it is beautiful. I actually got into the story like when you read a book you sometimes are in the book. keep writing girl, become an artist in the art of writing books. Just remember that if the people that read your stories get emotional, either happy or sad, or if they end up being in the story then you know that you have done a good job. Be sure to let us know if you publish this story cuz I want to hear more.
http://www.frettedamericana.com/gretsch_6120_chet_atkins_hollow_body_third_version_1957-d-1014-0.html
Kendel Carson, Adam Dobres and Ollie Swain performing at the 12 Bar Club, London, 12 February 2008
http://www.locomolife.com/store/index.php?main_page=advanced_search_result&search_in_description=1&keyword=plasma+plate
Perform in Berkeley, Cali, July 08, 09 at 10 or 11 til 12. One fine show from two great performers. 3 cameras now for better coverage! (High Five!)